Friday 6 July 2018

Are YOUR children as polite as Prince George and Princess Charlotte? Royally-trained etiquette expert reveals the MOST important manners to teach your kids before age 10

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5915401/Etiquette-expert-Myka-Meier-lists-important-manners-behavior-kids-learn.html
By CARLY STERN

Follow their lead! Princess Charlotte and Prince George have been learning good manners and proper etiquette since they were born รข€” but non-royal children can learn those lessons, too
Follow their lead! Princess Charlotte and Prince George have been learning good manners and proper etiquette since they were born — but non-royal children can learn those lessons, too

Just because your kids haven't been invited for a playdate with Prince George and Princess Charlotte doesn't mean they can't behave like little princes and princesses themselves.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's little ones may not yet be old enough to sit at the grown-ups' table at official dinners — that'll have to wait until they can hold polite conversation like adults for that — but they've certainly been learning good manners since they were babies.
And if George, who turns five this month, and Charlotte, who is three, can practice good etiquette, your kids can, too. But where to start? Etiquette expert Myka Meier, 36, has shared the most important lessons a child should learn by the age of 10, from how to answer a phone to the top rules to follow during a meal.
Well-behaved! DailyMail.com reveals the top 20 lessons in manners and etiquette that a child should learn by the age of 10
Well-behaved! DailyMail.com reveals the top 20 lessons in manners and etiquette that a child should learn by the age of 10
Myka, a dual American and British citizen, trained in London under a former member of The Royal Household of Her Majesty the Queen — and has gone on to to open Beaumont Etiquette to pass on her expertise.
She currently runs The Plaza Hotel Finishing Program, where she teaches people of all ages proper etiquette, with special classes designed for children held in the Eloise Tea Room. She's been flown all over the world to teach royals, celebrities, and other members of the elite (some of whom require that she signs NDAs).
Yet she insists that most of the lessons she imparts are just as useful for kids who aren't visiting palaces and dining at the world's most expensive restaurants.
The expert: Beaumont Etiquette's Myka Meier runs The Plaza Hotel Finishing Program
The expert: Beaumont Etiquette's Myka Meier runs The Plaza Hotel Finishing Program
'As parents, you wish nothing more than to see your child excel in all they do, and the best way to get ahead is to teach them basic dining and social skills while they’re young,' she told DailyMail.com.
'The foundation of etiquette, taught during childhood, is unmatched and considered an investment in your child's future,' she went on. 
'Regardless of personal goals, early childhood etiquette instills basic manners, kindness and respect, social skills, and confidence in children.'
'It's never too early to begin etiquette training,' she added. 'Children such as Prince George and Princess Charlotte begin learning dining etiquette the moment they are able to sit at the dining table.' 
Of course, teaching etiquette is an ongoing process — and some lessons need to be adapted based on a child's behavior. 
'The true meaning of etiquette is always to show respect and kindness to everyone and all living things around you, including people, animals, and the environment,' Myka explained.
An effective way to do that is to learn these 20 things before the age of 10...
1. The correct way to hold cutlery
'Often holding cutlery is one of the biggest mistakes children make in dining,' Myka said. 'When they start eating as babies they use their hands, but by toddlers they are expected to progress to silverware and often have a hard time adjusting.'
The rules are also different in British and American dining. Brits keep their fork in their left hand and knife in their right throughout the meal, and in formal settings will push food onto the back of the fork.
Americans cut with their fork in the left hand and a knife in their right, but move the fork to the right hand to take a bite. They also spear food onto the fork, as opposed to placing it on the back.
2. How to properly use a napkin to wipe your mouth
Kid should be taught quickly that sleeves are for wearing, not for sopping up food or spills. 
3. To never chew with their mouths open
'Children can begin learning table manners as soon as they’re old enough to sit at the table,' said Myka. 
4. How to set the table
'Being able to set a proper dining table goes beyond cutlery placement,' Myka said. She goes into the details in her classes, but parents should at least show children where to place cutlery, napkins, and cups — and can get them to practice by setting the table before family dinners.
5. Not to put elbows on the table
'Putting elbows on the table in western culture is recognized as rude behavior,' says Myka. 'In America and Great Britain, we keep our hands totally under the table until food or drink is served, while in many other countries wrists stay on the table. But no matter what country in the western world, no elbows. 
Why the rule? Well, Myka, said, 'When putting your elbows on the table you break posture and curve your back, leaning over the table. It’s also possible that your elbows knock into something at the table.'
6. To say 'please,' 'thank you,' and 'excuse me' 
'As soon as children have the ability to speak its importance to introduce verbal cues such as please and thank you,' said Myka. 
7. How to show positive body language 
It's one thing to talk to talk, but a kid also has to walk the walk. Saying 'please' an 'thank you' don't go very far when a child is grumbling, and crossing his arms.
8. To never comment on someone's appearance — unless it's to say something nice
Kids have a habit of being embarrassingly honest. If they know that the only comments they should make about someone's looks are positive ones, you'll never hear, 'Daddy, that lady is so ugly!'
On the flip side, positive remarks should be encouraged, and children should be taught how to give a compliment. 
9. Not to point or stare
10. Not to interrupt adults when they are speaking to someone else 
11. How to introduce themselves — and others — properly
Teaching them to say their names and offer a handshake is the first step, but it's important that they learn how to introduce one friend to another, too.
12. Not to call an adult by his or her first name, unless instructed to do so
13. How to write a thank-you letter and why we do it
14. To always knock on a door before opening it
Teaching this to children from an early age can prevent mortifying moments.
'The earlier you start teaching children etiquette, the more it becomes day to day normal behavior to them and is easier to absorb,' said Myka. 'Just as it is easier to learn a language as a child, so it is for any skill set.
15. Why it's important to invite someone to join a group if they are by themselves
Recognizing the needs of others is compassionate and shows good manners — but in the beginning, kids will likely need an adult to point out those who should be invited to join.
16. How to dress and groom themselves for nice outings
17. How to politely answer a phone
According to Myka, children should answer the phone by saying one of the following: 'Hello,' 'Good morning,' 'Good afternoon,' 'Good evening,'  or 'Hello, how may I help you?'  
When the caller asks to speak to someone, a child should then ask who is calling. 
She pointed out that while children used to be taught to introduce themselves when picking up the phone, that is no longer advisable for safety reasons.  
18. To make eye contact when speaking to another person
19. To cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing 
'Parents should definitely lead by example, as children see what their parents are doing they will copy their behavior,' said Myka. 
20. When to use indoor and outdoor voices 
This one should certainly be taught when kids are young, but Myka insists it's never too late to begin teaching a child etiquette.
'As a pre-teen or teen, it’s still a great time for etiquette training,' she said. 'As adolescents begin to develop a sense of self, they are able to comprehend etiquette in a way that is applicable.'

Sunday 17 June 2018

How to Parent Like a German

http://time.com/3720541/how-to-parent-like-a-german/?xid=time_socialflow_twitter&utm_campaign=time&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social
By SARA ZASKE


Getty Images

The first time I went to a playground in Berlin, I freaked. All the German parents were huddled together, drinking coffee, not paying attention to their children who were hanging off a wooden dragon 20 feet above a sand pit. Where were the piles of soft padded foam? The liability notices? The personal injury lawyers?

Achtung! Nein!” I cried in my bad German. Both kids and parents ignored me.

Contrary to stereotypes, most German parents I’ve met are the opposite of strict. They place a high value on independence and responsibility. Those parents at the park weren’t ignoring their children; they were trusting them. Berlin doesn’t need a “free range parenting” movement because free range is the norm.

Here are a few surprising things Berlin parents do:

Don’t push reading. Berlin’s kindergartens or “kitas” don’t emphasize academics. In fact, teachers and other parents discouraged me from teaching my children to read. I was told it was something special the kids learn together when they start grade school. Kindergarten was a time for play and social learning. But even in first grade, academics aren’t pushed very hard. Our grade school provides a half-day of instruction interrupted by two (two!) outdoor recesses. But don’t think this relaxed approach means a poor education: According to a 2012 assessment by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, German 15-year-olds perform well above the international average when it comes to reading, math and science while their more pressured American counterparts lag behind.

Encourage kids to play with fire. A note came home from school along with my excited second grader. They were doing a project on fire. Would I let her light candles and perform experiments with matches? Together we lit candles and burned things, safely. It was brilliant. Still, she was the only kid whose parent didn’t allow her to shoot off heavy duty fireworks on New Year’s Eve.

Let children go almost everywhere alone. Most grade school kids walk without their parents to school and around their neighborhoods. Some even take the subway alone. German parents are concerned about safety, of course, but they usually focus on traffic, not abductions.

The facts seem to be on the Germans’ side. Stranger abductions are extremely rare; there were only 115 a year in all of America, according to the most recent U.S. Department of Justice study. And walking around without parental supervision, or “independent mobility” as the researchers call it, is good for kids.

Party when school startsOne of my Berlin friends once told me that the three biggest life events are Einschulung (starting first grade), Jugendweihe (becoming a young adult) and getting married.

In Berlin, Einschulung is a huge celebration at the school—on a Saturday!—that includes getting a Zuckertute—a giant child-sized cone filled with everything from pencils to watches to candy. Then there’s another party afterwards with your family and friends. Einschulung is something children look forward to for years. It signals a major life change, and hopefully, an enthusiasm for learning.

Jugendweihe happens when a child turns 14. It involves a similar ceremony, party, and gifts, marking the next stage of growing up. With all the negativity heaped on adolescents, there’s something to be said for this way of celebrating young adulthood.

Take the kids outside everyday. According to a German saying “there is no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.” The value of outside time is promoted in the schools, hence the “garten” in Kindergarten. It’s also obvious on Berlin’s numerous playgrounds. No matter how cold and grey it gets, and in Berlin it gets pretty cold, parents still bundle their kids up and take them to the park, or send them out on their own.

Which brings me back to that dragon—since moving here, I’ve tried to adopt some of the Berlin attitude, and my 8-year-old has climbed all over the dragon. But I still hesitate to let her walk alone in our very urban neighborhood.

I’ve taken one small step. I let her go to the bakery by herself. It’s just down the stairs and one door over. The first time she did this, she came back beaming, proudly handing me the rolls she bought herself.

I figured there was no need to tell her that her American mother was out on the balcony, watching her the whole time.

Saturday 26 May 2018

9 Adult Behaviors of Someone That Had Emotionally Unavailable Parents As A Child

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/emotionally-unavailable-parents-behaviors/

emotionally unavailable

“People THRIVE on positive reinforcement. They wither with criticism.” – Patti Henry
The children of parents who were emotionally unavailable eventually grow up into adults. In adulthood, those people may have difficulty pinpointing exactly what it was in their childhood that went wrong. It’s only through observation of behaviors that therapists and psychologists are able to reveal what happens to children who were raised by parents who were emotionally unavailable. Here are some of the most common adult behaviors of someone who had parents that were emotionally unavailable.

HERE ARE 9 BEHAVIORS OF SOMEONE WHOSE PARENTS WERE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE

1. DIFFICULTY WITH ATTACHMENTS

Adults who were raised by emotionally unavailable parents may find that they have difficulty with commitment and attachments in their lives. “Unstable people first have to get themselves stable before they can truly commit to a relationship—and that could take a long time,” says licensed marriage and family therapist, Neil Rosenthal.
Adults raised by emotionally unavailable parents are unstable and hence struggle with relationships. They tend to have a fear of both attachment and love. Adults with attachment issues may not even notice that they sabotage their own relationships or become distant when attachment seems probable.

2. IDENTITY ISSUES

Children learn a lot of their identity through their parents. Parents who are emotionally unavailable tend to have less of an impact on their child, which means that the children don’t have as good of a grasp on their identities. When growing into adulthood, these people tend to have identity issues, and tend to have a loss of direction in life. They don’t know where to go, or what to do in life.
past

3. DIFFICULTY ACCEPTING CHANGE

Adults who were raised by emotionally distant parents tend to have issues with change. They’re not very adaptable, and often prefer for things to stay the same. This is because they were never taught to handle their emotions appropriately by their parents. Change can be difficult for children. When they don’t have a good guidance on how to deal with it, these children tend to grow up into adults who still can’t handle change.

4. LOW SELF-ESTEEM

For much of their life, children rely on their parents to meet all of their emotional needs. When those emotional needs aren’t getting met, children develop low self-esteem. This low self-esteem doesn’t end when the children grow into adulthood, either.
Often the roots of low self- esteem lie deep in a wounded child within us who feels “not good enough.” As children we feel accepted only to the extent we feel unconditionally loved and supported by our parents,” says Dr. Sonera Jhaveri.
Thus, adults with emotionally absent parents often think poorly of themselves and characterize themselves as “not good enough”.

5. DOESN’T UNDERSTAND EMOTIONS

When children are raised with emotionally unavailable parents, they never learn how to communicate their emotions. This leads to children carrying this misunderstanding of emotions into adulthood. One of the most common behaviors of an adult with emotionally unavailable parents is a lack of understanding about their own emotions. They may not be able to identify their feelings, even if you asked.

6. SENSITIVITY TO REJECTION

Adults who had emotionally unavailable parents may find that they are extremely sensitive to rejection, or even just perceived rejection. For example, an adult with emotionally unavailable parents may become distressed at the idea that someone at their workplace that they admire didn’t like their presentation. This is commonly known as “rejection sensitive dysphoria” and can cause extreme distress at even the perception of rejection, such as a neutral response over an enthusiastic one.

7. PERFECTIONISM

For those carrying the weight of an emotionally unavailable parent into adulthood, perfectionism is extremely likely. Due to the sensitivity of rejection, and the deep-seated drive for acceptance and affirmation, adults whose parents were emotionally unavailable find themselves needing everything they do to be perfect. This can carry over into their workplace, their relationships, and their own personal hobbies.

8. TROUBLE SETTING BOUNDARIES

Adults who had emotionally unavailable parents were never taught how to set healthy boundaries. This results in these adults now trying to replicate a parental relationship with other people in their lives. This often involves men or women seeking out romantic partners who can fill the role of a parental figure – which inevitably causes upset in the relationship.

9. LYING

Lying is often a behavior that we consider to be manipulative, but sometimes lying can be a result of emotionally absent parents. Most often, adults who had emotionally absent parents tend to lie because they’re trying to get a certain reaction out of the people that they’re lying to. While this is a manipulative tactic, these people are doing it in order to receive some kind of affirmation, something they didn’t receive as children.
Final thoughts
Knowing the adult behaviors of an emotionally absent parent is important for both therapists and people who are trying to move on from their past. While the idea of an adult still suffering from absent parents is saddening, it isn’t the end of the road. Mental health experts have long been figuring out the best way to lead people onto the road of recovery when it comes to emotionally unavailable parents. It’s never too late for someone to get help and address maladaptive behaviors.

Friday 16 March 2018

14 Ide ajak anak bermain di rumah, bikin orangtua tenang

https://www.brilio.net/orangtua/14-ide-ajak-anak-bermain-di-rumah-bikin-orangtua-tenang--1612139.html
Ahada Ramadhana 13 Desember 2016 12:34



Brilio.net - Anak-anak bisa menghabiskan waktu berjam-jam untuk bermain. Jika bermain keluar rumah bersama teman-temannya bisa lebih lupa waktu. Itu bisa membuat khawatir orangtua. Untuk menyiasati itu, orangtua mesti mampu menghadirkan permainan-permainan yang menarik di rumah. Dengan begitu, aktivitas anak tetap bisa dipantau.

Nah berikut ini adalah beberapa ide bermain indoor yang bisa bikin anak betah, seperti dirilis brilio.net dari Activities for kid, Selasa (13/12).
1. Play dough bisa.
2. Main beginian, kamu pernah?
3. Susun ke atas boleh juga.
4. Ala latihan militer asyik juga nih.
5. Bikin bangun ruang.
6. Perosotan kardus, asyiiiik.
7. Cakep nih permainan.
8. Bikin benteng-bentengan.
9. Lempar-lemparan.
10. Ini juga.
11. Balon tangkis ya namanya?
12. Begini doang anak bakal senang.
13. Seberapa tinggi yang bisa bangun.
14. Bikin bentuk apa saja yang kamu suka.