Stop these 5 parenting errors

11 Prinsip Mendidik

https://www.facebook.com/agus.sampurno/posts/10156734468617907

Agus Sampurno 

Jika kelas yang anda asuh sudah menerapkan 11 prinsip dibawah ini maka selamat anda adalah guru profesional!. Mari kita cek sama sama

1. Guru 'memaksa' siswa fokus dengan teknik yang kreatif agar tercipta suasana kelas yang kondusif namun tetap dengan nuansa yang positif. Ingat kelas yang kondusif adalah kelas dimana siswa bersedia ikut alur pembelajaran guru dengan perasaan sukarela. 

2. Senang mengajak siswanya melakukan brainstorming, guru bersama siswa, siswa bersama partner atau rekannya dalam satu kelompok. Kelas yang sering lakukan brainstorming memang akan terdengar ribut/berisik sesaat, namun faedahnya akan lahir siswa yang berpikiran kritis.

3. Mengaitkan terus semua kegiatan dengan aspek menulis singkat (quick writes). Misalnya siswa menuliskan refleksi bagamana mereka menjalani pembelajaran bersama anda, dua atau tiga kalimat. Dilanjutkan dengan tugas menulis yang lebih kompleks.

4. Selalu ada soal/problem menarik yang diminta guru untuk siswa pecahkan sebagai cara menarik antusiasme siswa . Semakin siswa antusias semakin menarik kelas yang anda ajar. 

5. Guru selalu punya cerita untuk dibagi kepada siswanya, tentunya cerita yang sesuai konteks pembelajaran saat itu. Semakin guru kelihatan kalau 'mainnya' jauh, temannya banyak maka rasa hormat siswa akan datang dengan sendirinya.

6. sertakan gambar, artikel, video, film pendek, teka teki, sampai time line/status orang ternama/seleb yang mungkin saja berhubungan dengan materi yang sedang anda ajarkan. Tampilkan di awal sebagai provokasi atau diakhir sebagai sarana menyimpulkan. Dijamin siswa akan lekat ingatannya dengan materi yang anda ajarkan. 

7. Latih terus kemampuan anda bertanya kepada siswa. Jika siswa masih ditanyakan hal-hal yang sifatnya faktual, maka anda melewatkan kegairahan dan rasa penasaran siswa untuk menjawab pertanyaan menarik yang anda ajukan. Seru lho melihat mereka mengernyitkan dahi dan seperti tak sabar dan penasaran ingin tahu apa sih sebenarnya jawaban pertanyaan anda, tentunya setelah biarkan mereka mencoba menjawab sebisanya. 

8. minta mereka untuk melakukan 'doodle', membuat sketsa sebagai ringkasan hasil pembelajaran yang anda lakukan. Jangan biarkan bakat-bakat keren di kelas anda hilang begitu saja, doodle adalah sebuah kegiatan yang seru, karena yang membuat tidak mesti punya bakat menggambar. Kompilasikan hasil doodle siswa di blog, schoology, edmodo, grup WA milik kelas/sekolah anda.

9. Hentikan kegiatan anda sebentar saat mengajar, minta siswa share/ajarkan hal yang mereka ketahui dari informasi yang guru dapatkan. Saat siswa diminta mengajarkan siswa yang lainnya, maka 'setengah mati' mereka akan mengingat hal yang anda ajarkan, dan saat mereka tidak bisa maka dengan sendirinya mereka akan berucap bahwa "lain kali saya mesti memperhatikan/lebih perhatian". Sebuah kesadaran/motivasi internal yang menarik bukan?

10. Hentikan kegiatan anda sebentar saat mengajar, minta siswa saling membandingkan hasil catatan mereka. Jika ada siswa yang sedikit/kurang fokus maka janji yang sama di point nomor 9 akan terucap di benak/hati siswa. Paling enak bagi guru adalah jika janji untuk jadi pembelajar yang lebih baik lahir dari siswa itu sendiri. 

11. Selalu lakukan refleksi di akhir pembelajaran. Siswa perlu diikat pemahaman dan pengertiannya mengenai materi yang anda ajarkan, refleksi bisa menjadi salah satu alat yang sangat baik untuk mengikat pemahaman. Anda bisa lakukan point ke 3 atau sekedar tanyakan pada siswa secara lisan pertanyaan, 'kosa kata baru apa yang kamu dapatkan hari ini?', 'apa kegiatan yang paling kamu sukai?

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Warning Signs for Parent: Childhood Roots of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/warning-signs-parents/201701/childhood-roots-narcissistic-personality-disorder?amp
Brian D. Johnson, Ph.D. and Laurie Berdahl, M.D.
Nipping a toxic mental illness in the bud
Source: IMylu/iStockphoto
It’s estimated that up to 6% of the US population has narcissistic personality disorder (narcissism for short), which is more common in men and has its roots in childhood. Extremely resistant to treatment, this severe mental illness leads affected individuals to create chaos as they harm other people. Before discussing how demands for support of ego and desires can go off the rails, let’s start with an overview of pertinent normal child development. 

Small children are naturally selfish as a normal part of development in which they work to get their needs met and can’t understand other people’s needs and desires. Then as teenagers, kids are still typically self-centered as they struggle for independence. 

As opposed to self-centeredness that should gradually decline, children need to develop healthy, lasting levels of self-esteem to be able to protect and care for themselves while caring about others, to resist dangerous influences, and to stay connected to family and society. Healthy levels of self-esteem indicate a child’s belief that he or she is loved and worthy as a person in the family and in society, and thus doesn’t deserve and is more resilient to mistreatment. In a nutshell, self-esteem isn’t self-centeredness because it doesn’t lead to putting oneself first to the detriment of other people’s needs and rights.

Typical childhood self-centeredness must change to pave the way to mental healthin adulthood. To grow up able to function well in families and society, kids must gradually gain both the ability to see other people’s viewpoints and empathy for other people’s suffering. So, healthy kids should gradually show sincere signs of caring about the well-being of others. Not developing empathy while growing up is a warning sign of developing a serious personality disorder as an adult, including the narcissistic type.

How do people with narcissistic personality disorder (narcissists for short) act? Besides showing lack of empathy (as judged not by words but by actions), narcissists filter information and react on the basis of effect on their egos. Their actions reflect grandiose beliefs of superiority and uniqueness as well as their need for admiration and worship. 

Source: Izusek/iStockphoto

Narcissists are arrogant and preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited self-importance, success, and power (including that they alone can do something) and exaggerate their accomplishments and popularity. They exploit or take advantage of people for personal gain including feeding their egos and thus require excessive admiration. They pit people against each other to get what they want—they divide people to conquer and gain power over them. They manipulate others by influencing emotions like fear and anger, and with threats and lies. Another manipulation technique used is redefining reality by repeatedly fabricating fiction and arguing about it as if it were fact  (such as presenting alternative facts), which leads listeners to question their own understanding of reality. Victims often experience a “twilight zone” sensation that is accompanied by anxiety. 

Narcissists make others miserable and get aggressive with people who won’t give them the agreement, admiration, and respect they feel entitled to, expecting automatic compliance. These traits are often found in dictators. Like most personality disorders, narcissism is very difficult to treat because people affected aren’t able to understand that anything is wrong with them and thus are not motivated to change.

A narcissist is toxic to situations and people, except perhaps to an inner circle of supporters—at least for as long as they continue to support the narcissist’s agenda. 

Now let’s go back to youth. Preteens aren’t developed enough to manipulate and given that teenagers are typically self-centered, clinicians are reluctant to diagnose narcissistic personality disorder before age 18. Still, you might notice one or more of these warning signs in teenagers indicating risk of developing narcissism: 

• persistent bullying behaviors such as making fun of, threatening, degrading, or scapegoating people (including parents and other adults)
• persistent need to win no matter who is hurt
• persistent lying to benefit oneself (will lie about lying, turn lies into someone else’s fault, deflect accountability by attacking messengers who point out lies)
• egotistical view of extraordinary self-worth
• preoccupation with getting own needs met over other people’s
• entitled attitudes which lead to acting as if they deserve special treatment and to get whatever they want, no matter the circumstances
• aggressive responses to being criticized, wronged, or upset
• repetitively blaming others for bad outcomes
• and being much more competitive than cooperative.

If your child or one you know behaves this way, you can save your family and society from harm by focusing on doing the following: 

• teach empathy
• value character traits like honesty and kindness over being tough or dominant
• change entitled attitudes and stop entitled actions
• squelch greed (say, “You’re acting selfishly and that’s not okay”) 
• insist they put other people first routinely, remembering that actions speak louder than words (narcissists often say they are doing something to benefit others when they are really doing it for themselves)
• build healthy self-esteem (low self-esteem can also lead to entitlement and using others to support one’s ego)
• don’t allow false blame of other people for one’s own problems and failures.

Also avoid parenting styles linked to developing narcissist personality, such as neglecting, indulgent (spoiling with privilege and possessions, and promoting entitled attitudes) and cold, overcontrolling authoritarian methods which insist on perfection, winning, and toughness from a child.

On the flip side, you can also help teens and young adults learn to recognize narcissists so they can avoid their toxic harm or survive it. A necessary foundation for this is the ability to think critically about what someone says or does, which starts to develop during adolescence. 

Critical thinking skills help us tell lies from truths and determine when someone is manipulating to take advantage of or scam us. Parents and mentors can help teach these empowering life-skills that protect against deception by con artists and abusive bosses, friends, and partners. 

You can give your child life-long protective gifts of healthy levels of self-esteem and critical thinking skills while squelching entitlement and narcissistic traits to benefit you, your child and family, and all of us. And don’t forget that there is no shame in seeking help to get it done—seeking knowledge and help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

References

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. 5th ed. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing. 2013. Pages 669-672.

Barr, C. T., Kerig, P. K., Stellwagen, K. K. & Barry, T. D. (Eds.). (2011). Narcissism and Machiavellianism in Youth: Implications for the Development of Adaptive and Maladaptive Behavior. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

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Top 10 Good Parenting Tips

http://joluu.com/top-10-good-parenting-tips

But if you can keep working on them, even though you may only do part of these some of the time, you will still be moving in the right direction.

#1 MODELING

Walk the walk. Don’t just tell your child what you want them to do. Show them.

Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We  are programmed to copy other’s actions to understand them and to incorporate them into our own. Children in particular watch everything their parents do very carefully.

So, be the person you want your child to be — respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion — and your child will follow suit.

#2: LOVING

Show your love.

There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them.

Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can — things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that’s when you’ll have a spoiled child.

Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously.

Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, opioids and prolactin. These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and contentment, from these the child will develop resilience and not to mention a closer relationship with you.

#3: POSITIVE PARENTING

Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively little connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape our personalities and basically determine who we are. They are created, strengthened and “sculpted” through experiences across our lives.

Give your child positive experiences. They will have the ability to experience positive experiences themselves and offer them to others.

Give your child negative experiences. They won’t have the kind of development necessary for them to thrive.

#4: BEING A SAFE HAVEN

Let your child know that you’ll always be there for them by being responsive to the child’s signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm, safe haven for your child to explore from.

Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better emotional development, social development and mental health outcomes. 

#5: COMMUNICATING AND INTEGRATING

Most of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully.

By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem.

But there’s another reason for communication — you help your child integrate different parts of his/her brain.

#6: REFLECTING

Many of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a happy childhood may want to change some aspects of how they were brought up.

But very often, when we open our mouths, we speak just like our parents did.

Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent the way we do.

#7: YOUR OWN WELL-BEING

Often times, things such as your own health or the health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a child is born. If you don’t pay attention to them, they will become bigger problems down the road.

Take good care of yourself physically and mentally. Take time to strengthen the relationship with your spouse. If these two areas fails, your child will suffer, too.

#8: NO SPANKING

No doubt, to some parents, spanking can bring about short-term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.

However, this method doesn’t teach the child right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear external consequences. The child is then motivated to avoid getting caught instead.

Spanking your child is modeling to your child that he/she can resolve issues by violence.

Children who are spanked, smacked or hit are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes. Later in life, they are also more likely to result in delinquency, antisocial and criminal behavior, worse parent-child relationship, mental health issues and domestic violence victims or abusers.

There are a variety of better alternatives to discipline that have been proven to be more effective, such as Positive Discipline (Tip #3 above) and positive reinforcement.

#9: KEEPING PERSPECTIVE

If you’re like most parents, you want your child to do well in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, enjoy meaningful relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.

But how much time do you spend on working towards those goals?

If you’re like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain Child

#10: TAKE A SHORTCUT

By shortcuts, I don’t mean shortchanging your child. What I mean is to take advantage of what are already known by scientists.

Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology.

Many parenting practices or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined or refuted.

Belajar Jadi Ayah Generasi Milenial yang Berbahagia

https://tirto.id/belajar-jadi-ayah-generasi-milenial-yang-berbahagia-b4KH?utm_source=Twitter&utm_campaign=Midnight&utm_medium=Social
Reporter: Nuran Wibisono


Ilustrasi [Foto/Free Pic]

12 November, 2016

• Boston College Center for Work & Family mengadakan penelitian tentang ayah milenial
• 75 persen ayah milenial menganggap keseimbangan kerja sebagai kriteria amat penting
• Kehidupan yang seimbang ini menghasilkan ayah-ayah yang merasa berbahagia

Para generasi milenial punya pandangan dalam menjalankan peran sebagai seorang ayah. 

Keseimbangan hidup untuk mencapai kebahagiaan jadi hal penting bagi mereka. Hari ini, diperingati sebagai hari ayah, dan para ayah milenial tentunya juga ingin terus memberikan kebahagiaan kepada anak dan istrinya.

tirto.id - Arif Budiarto memulai hari kerjanya sama seperti kebanyakan kelas pekerja lain. Pukul 5 pagi dia bangun. Kemudian bermain dengan anaknya yang baru berusia 8 bulan. Mandi, sarapan, dan pukul 6 dia dan istrinya sudah di atas motor, menuju Jakarta, sekitar 30 kilometer dari rumahnya di kawasan Sawangan, Depok.

Budi, panggilan akrabnya, juga mengakhiri hari dengan sama. Kalau tak ada lembur, pukul 5 sore dia sudah bisa meninggalkan kantor. Kalau lembur, jam 9 baru bisa pulang. Kalau tak ada lembur, maka dia pulang bareng dengan sang istri. Tapi Rere, istrinya, juga bukan tipe perempuan yang harus dijemput. Dia sudah terbiasa dengan hidup keras ala Jakarta. Kalau suaminya harus lembur, maka dia pulang sendirian.

Ketika akhir pekan tiba dan tak ada acara, mereka akan menghabiskan waktu di rumah. Bermain bersama anak. Budi juga bukan tipikal lelaki patriarkis. Dia adalah tipe ayah generasi milenial yang memahami pembagian kerja yang sama dan setara antara suami istri. Sering, Budi yang memasak sedangkan Rere membersihkan rumah. Atau Rere yang menyetir mobil, sementara Budi menggendong Arka, sang buah hati hingga tertidur di jok belakang.

Ayah generasi milenial kerap mempunyai pandangan yang menarik sekaligus berbeda terhadap nilai-nilai dalam keluarga. Di Indonesia, pembagian peran yang sering terlihat dan dianggap paling "normal" adalah: suami mencari uang, istri mengasuh anak dan mengerjakan tugas domestik.

Tapi Budi, sebagai salah satu ayah generasi milenial, jauh dari pembagian kerja seperti itu. Dia tidak merasa berat mengerjakan tugas seperti memasak, cuci piring, atau membersihkan popok anak.

"Aku juga terbantu karena di keluargaku selalu diajarkan untuk mandiri. Jadi meskipun sudah punya istri dan anak, aku tak merasa apa-apa harus dilayani," kata Budi.

Budi adalah satu dari jutaan ayah generasi milenial yang ada di dunia. Ayah dari generasi ini banyak yang mewakili nilai-nilai baru dalam keluarga. Beberapa waktu lalu, empat peneliti dari Boston College Center for Work & Family mengadakan penelitian tentang ayah generasi milenial. Hasilnya memang lumayan mengejutkan. Ada banyak sekali nilai-nilai keluarga generasi sebelumnya yang sudah mulai diabaikan, atau ditinggalkan sepenuhnya.

Misalkan tentang menjadi jadi bapak rumah tangga. Sekitar 51 persen ayah generasi milenial mengatakan mereka tak masalah menjadi bapak rumah tangga kalau pasangan mereka bisa menghasilkan uang yang cukup. Tentu nilai seperti ini nyaris asing bagi generasi sebelumnya, di mana menjadi bapak rumah tangga kerap dipandang sebagai "aib" karena tak mampu atau mau bekerja.

Dalam mencari pekerjaan, para ayah generasi milenial juga tidak hanya sekadar mencari gaji. Yang paling dipertimbangkan adalah kesempatan perkembangan karir. Sekitar 83 persen ayah generasi milenial menganggapnya amat penting atau sangat penting. Gaji malah ada di bawah kriteria tentang keseimbangan antara kerja dan kehidupan sosial. Sekitar 75 persen ayah generasi milenial menganggap keseimbangan kerja sebagai kriteria yang amat penting. Sedangkan hanya 74 persen ayah milenial yang menganggap gaji itu penting.

Budi juga merasakan hal yang sama. Di satu sisi, dia menyukai pekerjaannya. Tapi gajinya dianggap kurang untuk memenuhi kebutuhan tiap bulan. Namun, dia juga mencintai pekerjaannya karena memberikan keseimbangan kerja yang terjaga. Ini artinya, jadwal kerjanya tertata. Ada dua hari libur dalam seminggu. Ada jatah cuti yang cukup panjang, plus jatah libur tahunan. Dia tak kesusahan membagi waktu antara kerja dan keluarga, juga kehidupan sosial.

"Jadi hari Sabtu dan Minggu aku pasti menghabiskan waktu bersama keluarga atau keluar ramai-ramai bareng teman," kata Budi.

Hal ini juga sejalan dengan banyak ayah generasi milenial. Sekitar 60 persen mengaku mereka setuju bahwa membagi waktu antara kerja dan kehidupan personal itu mudah. Hanya sekitar 19 persen saja yang kesusahan membagi waktu. Ini berkaitan dengan sistem kerja yang mereka pilih.

Tirto.id pernah menuliskan tentang pekerjaan generasi milenial. Sebagian besar dari generasi ini menyukai pekerjaan yang fleksibel. Perusahaan-perusahaan yang membutuhkan jasa mereka pun paham bahwa generasi milenial amat berbeda dari generasi sebelumnya. Yang mereka cari bukan sekadar gaji besar, melainkan juga kebahagiaan yang bisa dicapai dengan kombinasi antara: gaji pantas, kerja berbasis target juga prestasi dan bukan absensi, ditambah dengan adanya waktu untuk kehidupan personal.

Kehidupan yang seimbang ini menghasilkan ayah-ayah yang merasa berbahagia. Budi, meski di satu sisi masih berambisi untuk mengembangkan karir dan mengejar gaji yang lebih besar, dia merasa bahagia dengan kehidupannya sekarang. Dia punya istri dan anak yang sangat disayanginya. Kehidupan kerjanya menyenangkan dengan banyak keuntungan kerja. Plus, dia tidak kesusahan mencari waktu untuk menjalani kehidupan sosial, baik bersama keluarga ataupun teman.

Meski bahagia, tak bisa diingkari kalau kebanyakan ayah generasi milenial masih mengalami konflik antara keinginan untuk menjadi ayah yang lebih banyak menghabiskan waktu bersama keluarga, dan keinginan untuk mengembangkan karir.

"Sebagian besar lelaki mengalami konflik ini. Tapi hal ini juga sudah dialami kebanyakan ibu yang juga wanita karir, yang pasti kerap bertanya: apakah aku bisa mencapai karir sekaligus punya waktu yang lebih banyak bersama keluarga?"

Yang perlu diperhatikan adalah ayah-ayah yang berada dalam golongan "conflicted". Ini adalah kutub tengah antara ayah tradisional (yang menginginkan istrinya lebih sering di rumah dan mengurus pekerjaan domestik) dan ayah egalitarian (yang menganggap pekerjaan rumah tangga seharusnya dikerjakan bersama. Ayah tradisional dan ayah egalitarian ini memiliki kepuasan hidup yang lebih tinggi ketimbang ayah yang berkonflik. Ayah yang berkonflik ini sebenarnya ingin mengambil bagian dalam pekerjaan domestik, tapi merasa enggan mengerjakannya.

"Maka penting supaya ayah yang punya konflik ini mencari jalan keluar terbaik, karena jelas-jelas konflik itu memengaruhi kebahagiaannya, dan kebahagiaan pasangannya," tulis para peneliti dari Boston itu. 

This is the 'safest' age to give your child a smartphone, according to Bill Gates

http://www.businessinsider.com/the-safest-age-to-give-your-child-a-smartphone-2017-5?IR=T&utm_content=bufferf736f&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer-ti&r=US&IR=T

• Melanie Curtin, Inc.
• 
  

Gates didn't let any of his children get their own phone until they were 14

Spencer Platt / Getty

Setting and maintaining reasonable boundaries around technology is now a fundamental part of parenting. Of paramount importance: when to give a kid their very own device.

This isn't something to be taken lightly. Analytics firm Flurry says American consumers spend 5 hours a day on our mobile devices. Another study said time spent in mobile apps increased a whopping 69 percent year-over-year.

Considering how many hours a day this budding human brain will spend staring at that screen, it's worth putting serious thought into what age is appropriate to get a mobile device.

According to the latest research, on average, a child gets his or her first smartphone at 10.3 years old. That same study shows that by age 12, a full 50 percent of children have social media accounts (primarily Facebook and Instagram).

Not so with the Gates family. In a recent interview with The Mirror, Bill Gates said he didn't let any of his children get their own phone until they were 14 years old.

That's right: His kids, now 20, 17, and 14, weren't allowed to have smart phones until they were high school age.

Gates is joined in this assessment by James Steyer, CEO of Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that reviews products and content for families. In the Steyer household, kids have to be in high school before they can get a phone — after demonstrating they can exercise restraint and understand "the value of face-to-face communication."

On other parents facing the same choice, Steyer says, "No two kids are the same, and there's no magic number ... A kid's age is not as important as his or her own responsibility or maturity level."

If you're looking for a way to evaluate that maturity level, PBS Parents has curated a list of practical questions to ask yourself before giving a child their first cell phone. They include things like:

• Do your children "need" to be in touch for safety reasons — or social ones?
• Can they get behind the concept of limits for minutes talked and apps downloaded?
• Can they be trusted not to text during class, disturb others with their conversations, and to use the text, photo, and video functions responsibly (and not to embarrass or harass others)?

It's worth noting that even after cell phones have been distributed, the Gates family still limits screen time. Mobile devices are banned at the dinner table (this goes for kids and parents alike). For younger kids, overall screen time is even more limited: "We often set a time after which there is no screen time, and in their case that helps [the kids] get to sleep at a reasonable hour."

Perhaps unsurprisingly, there's something else strictly banned in the Gates household: all Apple products.

Apparently whatever smartphones the Gates kids have, they're not iPhones.

Read the original article on Inc.. Copyright 2017. Follow Inc. on Twitter.

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How To Raise A Smart And Intelligent Child?

http://www.momjunction.com/articles/ways-to-make-your-kid-smart-and-intelligent_00100817/
SURBHI VERMA


Image : Shutterstock

Your baby’s brain is like an empty slate when they are born. It starts to develop as they encounter different experiences. The growth of a child’s brain happens in correspondence with the actions and experiences the surrounding offers. Whatever the kid sees, listens and experiences becomes a part of their intellect.

Senses like touch, feel, smell, sound, and taste stimulate brain cell connections. The more your kids are exposed to human senses the smarter they get. The development of your kid’s brain is directly proportional to the experiences they encounter in their daily lives.

As you continue with the article, you will learn a slew of ways to induce more intellect in your growing kids and keep them high on IQ.

5 Ways To Raise A Smart And Intelligent Child:

As a parent you wish to see your kid grow up into a smart, dynamic and appealing personality. It is not just academics your kid should be good at, but other areas like sports, art, communication and other fun activities too. It is important for you to open doors for them to learn more from their surroundings. However, as a parent you also have the responsibility to extract the good out of the bad.

Here are some suggested ways to raise a smart and intelligent child?:

1. Interact With Your Kids:

Scientists suggest that children that are loved, played with and cuddled have a much better mental growth than those who do not enjoy much attention and love at home.

• Talk to your kids and listen to them.
• Talking, expressing and enjoying with your kids will help them open up more.
• It will prepare their minds for worldly experiences and eventually pump up their thinking skills.
• You may read out to them and make them read. This will help improve their communication skills and understanding of languages.

2. Complete Exposure For Full Development:

Indulging your kids in activities that develop both sides of the brain is necessary.

• The left part of the brain works for logic, reasoning and language whereas the right part works for art and creativity.
• For a smarter kid, it is vital to expose them to things that work in developing both sides of the brain.
• Include interesting and challenging games and activities in your kid’s regular routine.

3. Play Time And Exercise:

A generous amount of playtime is important in your kid’s daily schedule.

• Playing improves and creates a base for your kid’s social, physical, intellectual and emotional skills.
• When your kids interact with other children, they learn to combine different ideas and feelings together.
• Also encourage your kids to get involved in some physical exercise as it will help them become stronger and smarter.
• Exercise increases blood flow and helps in development of new brain cells.

4. Introduce Music In Your Kid’s Life:

You may have noticed that kids take some time to learn a school lesson, but quickly memorize the song they love. It is a simple example of growing intellect when kids hear music.

• Music boosts attention, memory, motivation and learning.
• It develops patience for listening.
• Learning musical instruments will help your kids in developing spatial temporal reasoning and proportional thinking.
• This is the ground work for abstract math.

5. Let Your Children Play Intelligent Computer Games:

There are a slew of video games available in the market and not all of them are productive.

• Violence is the most commonly sold commodity through computer games and you need to be extremely careful to keep your kid away from these.
• There are games that work in favor of development of your kid’s brain.
• By indulging in such and a couple of other fun games you can help your kid develop hand-eye coordination.

Smartness is an asset cherished for life. So, know how to make your kids smart through these simple steps. And you will definitely take pride in them when they mature as bright and dynamic human beings.

Parents of Successful Kids Have These 12 Things in Common

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by Rachel Gillett and Yu Han / BusinessInsider.com

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This story originally appeared on businessinsider.com.

Good parents want their kids to stay out of trouble, do well in school, and go on to do awesome things as adults.

And while there isn't a set recipe for raising successful children, psychology research has pointed to a handful of factors that predict success.

Unsurprisingly, much of it comes down to the parents.

Here's what parents of successful kids have in common:

They make their kids do chores

"If kids aren't doing the dishes, it means someone else is doing that for them," Julie Lythcott-Haims, former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author of "How to Raise an Adult" said during a TED Talks Live event.

"And so they're absolved of not only the work, but of learning that work has to be done and that each one of us must contribute for the betterment of the whole," she said.

Lythcott-Haims believes kids raised on chores go on to become employees who collaborate well with their coworkers, are more empathetic because they know firsthand what struggling looks like, and are able to take on tasks independently.

She bases this on the Harvard Grant Study, the longest longitudinal study ever conducted.

"By making them do chores — taking out the garbage, doing their own laundry — they realize I have to do the work of life in order to be part of life," she tells Tech Insider.

They teach their kids social skills

Researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University tracked more than 700 children from across the US between kindergarten and age 25 and found a significant correlation between their social skills as kindergartners and their success as adults two decades later.

The 20-year study showed that socially competent children who could cooperate with their peers without prompting, be helpful to others, understand their feelings, and resolve problems on their own, were far more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job by age 25 than those with limited social skills.

Those with limited social skills also had a higher chance of getting arrested, binge drinking, and applying for public housing.

"This study shows that helping children develop social and emotional skills is one of the most important things we can do to prepare them for a healthy future," said Kristin Schubert, program director at the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, which funded the research, in a release.

"From an early age, these skills can determine whether a child goes to college or prison, and whether they end up employed or addicted."

They have high expectations

Using data from a national survey of 6,600 children born in 2001, University of California at Los Angeles professor Neal Halfon and his colleagues discovered that the expectations parents hold for their kids have a huge effect on attainment.

"Parents who saw college in their child's future seemed to manage their child toward that goal irrespective of their income and other assets," he said in a statement.

The finding came out in standardized tests: 57% of the kids who did the worst were expected to attend college by their parents, while 96% of the kids who did the best were expected to go to college.

That parents should keep their expectations high falls in line with another psych finding — the Pygmalion effect, which states "that what one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy" — as well as what some teachers told Business Insider was most important for a child's success.

They've attained higher educational levels

A 2014 study lead by University of Michigan psychologist Sandra Tang found that mothers who finished high school or college were more likely to raise kids that did the same.

Pulling from a group of over 14,000 children who entered kindergarten in 1998 to 2007, the study found that children born to teen moms (18 years old or younger) were less likely to finish high school or go to college than their counterparts.

Aspiration is at least partially responsible. In a 2009 longitudinal study of 856 people in semirural New York, Bowling Green State University psychologist Eric Dubow found that "parents' educational level when the child was 8 years old significantly predicted educational and occupational success for the child 40 years later."

They teach their kids math early on

A 2007 meta-analysis of 35,000 preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England found that developing math skills early can turn into a huge advantage.

"The paramount importance of early math skills — of beginning school with a knowledge of numbers, number order, and other rudimentary math concepts — is one of the puzzles coming out of the study,"coauthor and Northwestern University researcher Greg Duncan said in a press release. "Mastery of early math skills predicts not only future math achievement, it also predicts future reading achievement."

They develop a relationship with their kids

A 2014 study of 243 people born into poverty found that children who received "sensitive caregiving" in their first three years not only did better in academic tests in childhood, but had healthier relationships and greater academic attainment in their 30s.

As reported on PsyBlog, parents who are sensitive caregivers "respond to their child's signals promptly and appropriately" and "provide a secure base" for children to explore the world.

"This suggests that investments in early parent-child relationships may result in long-term returns that accumulate across individuals' lives," coauthor and University of Minnesota psychologist Lee Raby said in an interview.

They're less stressed

According to recent research cited by Brigid Schulte at The Washington Post, the number of hours that moms spend with kids between ages 3 and 11 does little to predict the child's behavior, well-being, or achievement.

What's more, the "intensive mothering" or "helicopter parenting" approach can backfire.

"Mothers' stress, especially when mothers are stressed because of the juggling with work and trying to find time with kids, that may actually be affecting their kids poorly," study coauthor and Bowling Green State University sociologist Kei Nomaguchi told The Post.

Emotional contagion — or the psychological phenomenon where people "catch" feelings from one another like they would a cold — helps explain why. Research shows that if your friend is happy, that brightness will infect you; if she's sad, that gloominess will transfer as well. So if a parent is exhausted or frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to the kids.

The moms work outside the home

According to research out of Harvard Business School, there are significant benefits for children growing up with mothers who work outside the home.

The study found daughters of working mothers went to school longer, were more likely to have a job in a supervisory role, and earned more money — 23% more compared to their peers who were raised by stay-at-home mothers.

The sons of working mothers also tended to pitch in more on household chores and childcare, the study found — they spent seven-and-a-half more hours a week on childcare and 25 more minutes on housework.

"Role modeling is a way of signaling what's appropriate in terms of how you behave, what you do, the activities you engage in, and what you believe," the study's lead author, Harvard Business School professor Kathleen L. McGinn, told Business Insider.

"There are very few things, that we know of, that have such a clear effect on gender inequality as being raised by a working mother," she told Working Knowledge.

They have a higher socioeconomic status

Tragically, one-fifth of American children grow up in poverty, a situation that severely limits their potential.

It's getting more extreme. According to Stanford University researcher Sean Reardon, the achievement gap between high- and low-income families "is roughly 30% to 40% larger among children born in 2001 than among those born 25 years earlier."

As "Drive" author Dan Pink has noted, the higher the income for the parents, the higher the SAT scores for the kids.

"Absent comprehensive and expensive interventions, socioeconomic status is what drives much of educational attainment and performance," he wrote.

They teach 'grit'

In 2013, University of Pennsylvania psychologist Angela Duckworth won a MacArthur "genius" grant for her uncovering of a powerful, success-driving personality trait called grit.

Defined as a "tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward very long-term goals," her research has correlated grit with educational attainment, grade-point average in Ivy League undergrads, retention in West Point cadets, and rank in the US National Spelling Bee.

It's about teaching kids to imagine — and commit — to a future they want to create.

They give their kids bias-proof names

A host of research shows just how much your name can affect your lifetime success, from your hireability to your spending habits.

Career-wise, people with names that are common and easy to pronounce, for example, have been found to have more success.

They understand the importance of good nutrition and eating habits

Successful people recognize that good eating habits can help you focus and be productive throughout the day.

As Tech Insider previously reported, Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, a family and children's clinical psychologist and author of books like "The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age," told Slate that developing food habits in kids that are both mentally and physically healthy requires involvement from parents.

To help their kids develop a sense of body acceptance and a body-positive self-image, she says parents need to role model good attitudes about their own and others' bodies, healthy eating habits of their own, and a positive attitude about food.